Marriage is a Ministry

On April 10^th 2004, I stood before God, family and friends, and made my vows to become one with the man God would have as my husband. I was only 21 at the time and I didn’t understand what my position in God’s eyes would be in all of this, but that didn’t matter to me at the time. All I wanted was to please him and allow my life to finally honor him.

I can’t believe it’s been 7 years! How did I get through what seemed at times to be the most challenging seasons of my life? I can only give credit and praises to God almighty. Ronnell and I were not nearly prepared for what we would face as newlyweds, but all God required was submissive hearts and faith as we surrendered everything and allowed him to lead the way.

As I reflect back over the last 7 years, I’ve come to realize now why God honors the union of my marriage so much. It is a direct reflection of my relationship with Christ; something that I am always pursing, desiring to please and eager to excel in. Being “married” is not just a marital status but a ministry and partnership with Christ, which requires trust and obedience.

It breaks my heart to hear how our society now views marriage as a “negative thing”. I can recall some of the push back I got from friends and some family when I announced that I was getting married at just 21 years old. “Why are you doing that” or “I hope you are not getting married because you guys have a baby together” I would hear numerous times. The comments shocked me and made me wonder what the true meaning of being a Christian was to some people. You would think that people would encourage marriage since there are already so many broken single family homes these days. For me, getting married was not about trying to cover up the fact that I had a baby out of wedlock or that I had engaged in premarital sex; It was about finally being obedient to that still small voice that had been pursuing me for 21 years and yielding to the holy spirit. Christianity was more than a title I wore. It was about living a life that honored God and worshiping him through my lifestyle. So I was more eager to do something for the first time that I felt “pleased” God, and less concerned about the worldly feedback I got about “settling down” too soon and giving up worldly pleasures. God had my back and that’s all I cared about.

Whenever you ask those who have been married the question, “How is married life” the typical response is usually….”well let me tell you”, or “…it has its ups and downs but its okay”. In a sense, the negative response to this question is now the world’s expectation for marriage making less people want to do it and more people wanting out of it. Surely our response should be the opposite especially since marriage is something that God is in favor of and approves. Now don’t get me wrong, it is not as easy as the media or movies makes it seem, but with God all things are possible.

So why are couples not receiving God best as he intended in our marriages? We need a fresh perspective and realistic one when it comes to marriage and the way that God intended it to be. Hard times of course as these are inevitable because we live in a world that knows nothing but sin, however our good days should definitely outweigh out bad ones in great numbers. When people ask me, “How is marriage” I say that it is a ministry that I’ve committed to in honor of serving my Lord. The more time and prayer I put into it, the more it grows into what God sees as unconditional love and the happier I am in staying committed to it.

If you look at your marriage (like I do) as a reflection of your walk with Christ, it makes sense why some of the key ingredients for a successful marriage are: forgiveness, respect, love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness submissiveness, humility, willingness, faithfulness, self control, selflessness and patience- sounds like some of the fruits of the spirit! With Christ as the center of your marriage, you can only fall deeper in love with your partner. Think about it like this, the more time you spend with God (in his word, praying, worship music etc…) the more intrigued you are by him and the more you want of him. So if our marriage is a reflection of this kind of relationship, then the same steps we take enhance our relationship with Christ, should be taken to maintain and grow our relationships in marriage.

So in closing today I say Happy Anniversary to my husband of 7 years and I pray that God will bless us with many more years to come. Dear God, I thank you for blessing us and teaching us how to be right for each other and righteous before thee. For showing us how to love and support each other even when we didn’t want toJ. I thank you for our two beautiful children (Jeremiah and Amber) who bring us joy that I have no words to describe and great family and friends who have supported us and continue to do so along this journey. For our Pastors and first ladies who have lived the example of having a Christ centered marriage, I thank you for placing those kind of people around us. I thank you God for the good seasons and those challenging ones too that brought about many tears and sleepless nights but you were always right there to take on the load. And lastly for drawing us closer to thee. I know that all of the latter has helped to shape and mold us into the couple we are today. We give you glory, honor and praise. And just how we surrendered 7 years ago out of obedience, we’ll continue to do so in that same faith and trust for we are servants committed and submitted to Christ!

Repentance is Painful

As I am lead in the path of righteousness, I realize that just because I said “YES” to God’s will, doesn’t mean that I am ready to walk into my destiny. When you commit to the will of God, you must go through a process of cleansing. What this means is you must first confess and  repent of your sins and be crucified of your flesh which represent all those things that are not of God; even those things that you’ve suppressed for many years, just because no one knew and you thought you were getting away with it, need to be dealt with. The truth is, God didn’t forget, and in order for him to truly use us, we must be purified, washed, and cleansed of all of our guilty stains which is never an easy thing to do.

Repentance does not feel good at all and it can be shameful and embarrassing and often times cause us to hurt some in the process. In fact it is very painful because it causes you to bring to light those hidden sins, those lies that you’ve been holding on to which in the end exposes you - and who wants to be exposed right? Exposure makes us vulnerable which leads no room for pride. But un-confessed sin and refusing to repent, leads to guilt, which leads to an impure heart. In the end it is not only necessary to repent but required if you desire to have a servant’s heart and closer walk with God. Believe me when I say that God looks at the heart of a person, so be careful on how you use the cliché “ God knows my heart” because you are right when you say that and know that you can’t fool God with lifestyles that contradict what you are confessing.

It is good to know that when we repent, God is right there to support us, and the first one to forgive us. There is no sin too great that God cannot forgive. John 1:9 reminds us that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And all means just that A-L-L. This is a scripture that I’ve quoted every 1^st Sunday for over the last decade of my life and it is one that holds true to this day. It is amazing how years later, God will give you new perspective on the same scriptures that you’ve come to memorize and will use his word in new ways to lead you back to the alter for repentance. I love him so much for this and in closing offer my prayer of thanks... ‘Dear God, thank you for forgiveness. Thank you for grace and mercy which I never deserved but what you desired for me to have and freely give. You could have written me off a long time ago, but you decided to pursue me and you’ve never let me go til this day. Even when I wanted to let go, you didn’t. I am the apple of your eye; blessed and highly favored- your anointed child. Wow, when I really think about it, you are molding me to be flawless in you. Thank you, for loving me so much, that you would give your only son, just to have the opportunity to know me-Vicki.  I guess I am that special to you. A servant that is highly favored. And so today, I repent of my ways that are not like yours, the times that I disgraced your name knowingly and without hesitation. The times I doubted you and trusted the world’s views instead; the times I ignored your voice and searched for my own; the times you wanted to use me and I said no. the times I lied to others, talked about others, and judged others; the times I stole your praises and glory and left you completely out of the picture. The times I went after my own dreams without consulting the master; the times I put other things before you and made those material and earthly things my god; those times I had the opportunity to introduce someone to Christ but didn’t…So for every time I disobeyed your word I say “I am sorry” from the bottom of my heart.  In return I forgive myself and accept your forgiveness. Thank you for liberating me. As painful as it was to confess those things and even to the people I did them to, it feels better to be liberated than held captive by those strongholds. Now I can walk in my destiny knowing that despite all that, you will still use me.