Repentance is Painful

As I am lead in the path of righteousness, I realize that just because I said “YES” to God’s will, doesn’t mean that I am ready to walk into my destiny. When you commit to the will of God, you must go through a process of cleansing. What this means is you must first confess and  repent of your sins and be crucified of your flesh which represent all those things that are not of God; even those things that you’ve suppressed for many years, just because no one knew and you thought you were getting away with it, need to be dealt with. The truth is, God didn’t forget, and in order for him to truly use us, we must be purified, washed, and cleansed of all of our guilty stains which is never an easy thing to do.

Repentance does not feel good at all and it can be shameful and embarrassing and often times cause us to hurt some in the process. In fact it is very painful because it causes you to bring to light those hidden sins, those lies that you’ve been holding on to which in the end exposes you - and who wants to be exposed right? Exposure makes us vulnerable which leads no room for pride. But un-confessed sin and refusing to repent, leads to guilt, which leads to an impure heart. In the end it is not only necessary to repent but required if you desire to have a servant’s heart and closer walk with God. Believe me when I say that God looks at the heart of a person, so be careful on how you use the cliché “ God knows my heart” because you are right when you say that and know that you can’t fool God with lifestyles that contradict what you are confessing.

It is good to know that when we repent, God is right there to support us, and the first one to forgive us. There is no sin too great that God cannot forgive. John 1:9 reminds us that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And all means just that A-L-L. This is a scripture that I’ve quoted every 1^st Sunday for over the last decade of my life and it is one that holds true to this day. It is amazing how years later, God will give you new perspective on the same scriptures that you’ve come to memorize and will use his word in new ways to lead you back to the alter for repentance. I love him so much for this and in closing offer my prayer of thanks... ‘Dear God, thank you for forgiveness. Thank you for grace and mercy which I never deserved but what you desired for me to have and freely give. You could have written me off a long time ago, but you decided to pursue me and you’ve never let me go til this day. Even when I wanted to let go, you didn’t. I am the apple of your eye; blessed and highly favored- your anointed child. Wow, when I really think about it, you are molding me to be flawless in you. Thank you, for loving me so much, that you would give your only son, just to have the opportunity to know me-Vicki.  I guess I am that special to you. A servant that is highly favored. And so today, I repent of my ways that are not like yours, the times that I disgraced your name knowingly and without hesitation. The times I doubted you and trusted the world’s views instead; the times I ignored your voice and searched for my own; the times you wanted to use me and I said no. the times I lied to others, talked about others, and judged others; the times I stole your praises and glory and left you completely out of the picture. The times I went after my own dreams without consulting the master; the times I put other things before you and made those material and earthly things my god; those times I had the opportunity to introduce someone to Christ but didn’t…So for every time I disobeyed your word I say “I am sorry” from the bottom of my heart.  In return I forgive myself and accept your forgiveness. Thank you for liberating me. As painful as it was to confess those things and even to the people I did them to, it feels better to be liberated than held captive by those strongholds. Now I can walk in my destiny knowing that despite all that, you will still use me.